Instead, the best relationship for most people will not be all encompassing. Your partner will love you for you and encourage you, will know what you're up to and keep track, but will also have areas and interests that you aren't into. For me, a lot of my growth has come from the areas where partners are into things I'm not: I don't change to be like them, but through their eyes I learn to see things in new ways (while still liking what I like). It can go too far in the other direction - but for most people having parts of your life your partner is not very involved in is a sign of maturity and strength. A strong relationship is a base from which you can set out into the world on your own terms, free to return to that relationship in the future.
For example:
"even if they don't have the background or experience that you do, and vice versa, you can both be patient with each other and spend loving time in harmonious movement."
"She showed me her spotify playlist (it was so cool, nothing i'd heard before) and I should her my claude coded landing page. "
Also, if this was already in the article before you posted your comment, I'd say it's simply moot: "Some might say this is unhealthy or codependent or some stupid diagnosis without analyzing any symptoms. Let me explain the symptoms. It starts where most relationships buckle under stress"
Real intimacy requires investment. Relationship anarchy, any time I've seen it attested or practiced, faciliates the opposite. It's a fetishisation of alienation. What you're describing as 'pressure of expectations' can be understood very differently, as the expectation of reciprocity. In other words, being able to rely on people - whether as friends or lovers, when things get difficult. Without that, all we have is limerence and capriciousness.
I say all this as someone who's been in non-monogamous relationships of various kinds - from weeks to years. Without the possibility of commitment and the acknowledgement that all relationships are inherently hierarchical, we atomise individual needs and make real enduring connection and community impossible.
https://davidgraeber.org/articles/are-you-an-anarchist-the-a...
As a love letter it's very sweet - you clearly have found something special.
As life advice - I mean, not everyone's ideal relationship is gonna look like this, and that's okay too.
When we're young, things are quite different, from when we get older.
Lot of "not-easy" stuff, involved in long, committed relationships.
Been married for over 30 years. Lots of rough spots, along the way.
We're doing OK, nowadays.
I remember that a bunch of siblings were criticizing their parent's relationship.
In fact, their parents were married for decades, and truly did the "Until death do you part" thing.
There was definitely some dysfunctionality, there, but they stuck out some really difficult times.
I have also seen relationships that were "the match made in heaven," fall apart, fairly quickly (in one case, a couple of weeks after a big wedding).
It's always easy to find fault with people that we can't relate to, or give advice that works for us, but won't, for them.
I can’t tell if this is satire, and I’m worried that it isn’t. I say that as someone who also doesn’t hate that book.
I hope this continues for as long as possible for OP.
Or maybe I just fell for satire and look like a donkey.